Is Civility Dead?
by Charlie Price
Online trolls. Road rage incidents. Public figures trading barbs. Wherever you turn, there’s another reminder of how fragile civility has become.
Defined by Merriam-Webster as “a polite act or expression,” civility is about treating others with respect, courtesy and kindness. Sound quaint? Many agree: 85% of those polled in a 2023 American Bar Association survey said civility in today’s society is worse than it was a decade ago.
So, has the modern age killed civility? I don’t think so, but it’s certainly under siege. In a culture that rewards the loudest voice in the room, choosing civility can feel like swimming against the current. Yet as Rotarians, it’s exactly what we’re called to do. When we choose to be civil with others, we’re putting our own best interests aside in favor of the greater good.
The Rotary Four-Way Test remains an ethical north star. More than something we recite at meetings, the test guides us toward civility in daily life: Is it the truth? Is it fair to all concerned? Will it build goodwill and better friendships? Will it be beneficial to all concerned?
Truth is more slippery than it used to be. With the rise of artificial intelligence, deepfakes and a 24-hour news cycle, it’s harder to determine what’s fact and what’s fiction, but the truth still matters. Integrity, speaking honestly and checking sources before sharing information goes a long way.
Fairness isn’t easy, because it requires humility: to step back, examine our own biases, and recognize that the world doesn’t revolve around us. It also requires sacrifice. But on the other side, fairness opens the door to compromise and a deeper understanding of others as we listen to try to achieve the middle ground.
Building goodwill and better friendships in the digital age is as important as ever. Post-pandemic social media has warped our views of connection, convincing us that likes and followers equal connection. The truth is, friendship can’t be measured in metrics. It’s built slowly, through acts of kindness and thoughtful conversation across the table.
In today’s anything-to-get-ahead world, choosing a scenario that will be beneficial to all and not just some is tricky.
It’s human nature to want to put our best interests first, asking, “What’s in it for me?” In the name of civility, however, we should instead be asking, “What’s best for all of us?” Often, it’s more about small acts than grand gestures: holding the door, offering a compliment, buying a cup of coffee.
Civility isn’t a relic of the past, but it does need champions to keep it alive. Who better than Rotarians to model it and prove that courtesy, kindness and respect still have a place in our modern world?