Is It Time for a 5‑Way Test?
by Valerie Aubert
For years, the Port Isabel Rotary Club has recited the traditional 4‑Way Test and then added a fifth question: “Is it or will it be fun?” The Rotary Club of Green Cove Springs has embraced the same addition.
But it raises an interesting question: If you could add something to the 4‑Way Test, what would it be?
Lately, I’ve been thinking about how we treat one another. Perhaps a Fifth Way could be simply: “Is it kind?” Some may argue that kindness is already covered under “Will it build goodwill and better friendships?” But goodwill typically implies friendliness or general helpfulness—important, yes, but not quite the same as kindness.
So what’s the difference?
After doing some research, I found distinct contrasts between niceness and kindness:
Nice
The word nice traces back to the Latin nescius, meaning “ignorant.” Over time its meaning evolved—passing through “timid” and “faint‑hearted”—until it took on today’s sense of pleasant or agreeable.
Psychologist Thomas Plante of Santa Clara University notes that being nice often reflects politeness, etiquette, or social conformity. It can be surface-level, driven by a desire to be liked rather than a true concern for others.
Kindness
The term kindness dates to the 14th century, rooted in Old English kyndnes, meaning “courtesy” or “noble deeds.”
Plante describes kindness as involving deeper intention and a genuine concern for another’s well‑being. It is active, engaged, and deliberate.
Author Houston Kraft takes this further: kindness, he says, is a conscious choice—an act of empathy, connection, and generosity toward someone you recognize as meaningfully connected to you. Unlike niceness, which is often reactive and self‑focused, kindness is proactive, “care‑oriented,” and purposeful.
Kraft emphasizes that kindness usually requires effort. It may involve sacrifice—time, comfort, pride, or ego—but those very sacrifices make it meaningful. While nice actions may expect acknowledgment or gratitude in return, kindness gives without needing anything back.
I have a friend who insists she is not especially nice, but she is definitely kind. I used to argue that she was both, but after exploring these distinctions, I appreciate her perspective more fully. She chooses kindness. I hope I do, too.
So if I were to add a Fifth Way to the Rotary Test, my choice would be clear:
Is it kind?
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