Mine, Mine, Mine
by Byron Jackson
My parents were very loving to my brother and me. They did their best to take care of us. As we grew older, I eventually learned that I had to choose which family traditions to carry on. We were taught to protect what we have and not to give to others unless they were family. The belief was that what was yours should also be mine, and there was no obligation to share. There was no giving to charity or volunteering our time to help others.
I remember watching a story on television about three boys who found a box of money by the railroad tracks in Denver. They turned it in because it didn’t belong to them, andmy mother called them “idiots.” This shaped my understanding of the world as a place where I had to take from others to get ahead. People told me I was too sensitive and advised me that others would walk all over me. So, I toughened my skin and adopted a mindset of taking what I wanted.
However, this philosophy left me feeling isolated and troubled, and deep down, I was unhappy with the person I had become. I eventually hit rock bottom and realized I needed to reevaluate my perspective on life. With help from others, especially the Episcopal Church in Norman, I began to understand that I didn’t have to be a taker to find happiness in this world.
Today, I choose to give my time, talents, and resources. If someone takes advantage of me, that’s on them. I now have peace with who I am. Interestingly, as I changed my outlook and spent time with my family of origin, I noticed a gradual shift in their philosophy as well. It takes courage to stand for what you believe in; you don’t need to be on a soapbox. Simply saying the words to yourself—“I choose”—can be powerful.
I strive to live by the Four-Way Test: Is it the truth? Is it fair to all concerned? Will it build goodwill and better friendships? Will it be beneficial to all? Today I choose to have a tradition that what is mine is yours, and that all of life is a gift for all of us to be shared.
I enjoyed your reflection Byron…well said sir.
Thanks for sharing. Great story.
Byron. you made a strong and important point using no pseudo-intellectual fluff that often obscures the message. I cannot picture you with tough skin, only as the kind and friendly guy in my Rotary club with a big heart – a guy devoted to helping the less fortunate.
I liked how you made reference to your childhood. I do the same, as it provides clues to what made us what we are today and why we believe in service above self.
A Great message. Thanks for your thoughts.
Thank you, Byron!
It takes COURAGE to open up about one’s inner thoughts!! I sincerely praise and thank you for doing so.
Thank you, Byron! This is powerful. I hope we all can be examples to others who may have the former mindset you had on how joyfully rewarding it can be to open our hearts to give back! As a new Rotarian, I love the application of the 4 Way Test!